America’s Love Affair With “Cool Ron”

It’s hard to go anywhere these days without a Cool Ron reference. “Cool Ron” just beat out “cat erection problem” as the number one most Googled search term of all time. McDonald’s offers both a Cool Ron burger and some other Cool Ron thing. Publishers and movie studios are scrambling eggs to get the rights to Ron for movies, TV shows, special Ron items, etc. With proposed titles like “Cool Ronnings” and “The Coolest Little Ron: How a Man Named Ron Became a Man Named Cool Ron”, expect C.R. to be Ronning the box office, book store and TV set for years to come. And unlike other popular culture memes, the love for Cool Ron is on the rise. Or should I say “is on the Ron”. The Cool Ron. 

Unlike other huge popular culture phenomenon, the Cool Ron craze hasn’t actually started yet. It is starting now, as you read this. Mind sufficiently blown? Thought so. That’s because the Cool Ron explosion is so huge and expanding so quickly that even though it is literally only seconds old, there are thousands of blogs posting about it as we write this, the first announcement of its existence. Thought about naming your first child “Cool Ron”? So did over 78 million people, right now, at the exact same time you thought of it.

So why are you so totally into Cool Ron before you even know what Cool Ron is? Well, the answer to that question is forty fold, and cannot be explained easily, or whatsoever. Cool Ron is a comic published by a relatively unknown (and mostly hated even by its biggest fans) comic book called I Eat and Drink Diarrhea. This comic, previously known only for its status as “Comic that has caused the most divorces and suicides besides Marmaduke” is now as well known to Americans as “groceries” and “going to the bathroom or your groceries”. How do I know? Well, you’re reading this, aren’t you? Pinch yourself all you want; this is not a dream.

To describe Cool Ron, one must imagine Cool Ron, in the first frame of a comic. Doing nothing. In the following frame, imagine a closer view of his face, with a word bubble. You know what, it might be easier just to show you

Now, you may be saying to yourself, your loved ones, even someone you happen to know who is also named Cool Ron “You know what. I’m now into the Cool Ron craze.”. Or you may not be. But wait, there’s more:

Welcome to the Ronvelution. Enjoy the Ron ride.