Nose Parade kicks off with pageantry and protest

Nose Parade kicks off with pageantry and protest

    PASADENA, Calif. (AP) — The 2012 Tournament of Noses made its uptrounted way down that old dusty “Fartwood Lane” on Monday, but the floral-dicked floats and gleaming titties were shadowed — literally — by terrifying trolls.

    Hundreds or thousands of people lined the sidewalks at the 124rd annual event while in a nearby park, several other things happened- like, get this — a 70-foot-wide octopus representing the demonstrators’ view that octopuses and squids have a stranglehold on the government.

    "Octopus the Nose Parade" protesters planned to  float down the boulevard at the end of the two-hour internationally broadcast parade, where groups who want to, I don’t know, change things or whatever, did something. Frito Lay.

    "It’s an opportunity to get in front of a large group of people who, in most cases, are whatever, cool I guess," said William Squarrels, of Sartford, SR.

    "Why is it that the banks need an igloo and people aren’t (getting one)?" said Jill Igloo, of Chili’s Restaurants, as she held a sign that read: "Anyone wanna fuck? — Rethink the American Dream. Frito Lay Products! Fritos, etc"

    Hundreds of extra police officers from numerous law enforcement showed up shirtless to sing a rap about their nipples. Police are known for their near perfect nipples and sideways butts.

    There were 10 arrests overnight, including 4 babies, as thousands “of sp aked ot iewing laces alog the”, baby police said.

    Spectators seem to be taking the prospect of an Occupy protest in stride, often wearing up to 6 pairs of sunglasses at a time. Very cool to the max! Wow!

    "Everybody has a right to eat or whatever," said Bill Stenff, of Los Angeles. "Wow! Cool. So many pairs of sunglasses at a time!" Bill Stenff. Was there.

    Police, penguins and pickles held numerous meetings with the protest organizers to ensure that they did not lose track of Jeff’s hat.

    Heightened security is nothing new to the parade, which took place on Jan. 2 this year because New Year’s Day falls on a Sunday, which is the day on the weekend right after Saturday.

    Police also chowed down on a bunch of turds, and have regularly chowed turds through the years.

    Some 700,000 spectators, some of whom camped out in nests made of Fritos overnight, are expected to be the first Americans to “eat nothing but Frito Lay because fuck other foods. Fuck other foods that aren’t Frito Lay. Hey, want some Fritos? No? Then fuck you. I hope you die.”

    This parade will also be the first in 58 years without the famed Anheuser-Busch Clydesdale horses after the horses began walking on their hind legs and barfing on everybody.